Lazy Elf On The Shelf
Ideas For The Busy Mom
Day 1, 2 and 3
Take your elf out of the box and set him on a counter, any counter, in your home. Try to remember to brush the crumbs off first. Wait for the kids to notice the elf is back. This may take several days, considering the fact that the elf is barely squeezed in between 3 foot-high piles of notes from your kids’ school you never opened.
The gig is up. The kids found the elf and are waiting for him to do something awesome. Move him under the pile of clean but unfolded laundry that is threatening to take over your guest bedroom. Tell them that there’s a surprise waiting for them at the bottom if they will fold all the laundry and put it away. Fix yourself a drink and settle in on the couch to watch the latest episode of Hoarding Buried Alive.
Wake up feeling motivated. Bring the elf into the middle of your living room where there is already a creative action scene going on between Barbie, the Red Power Ranger and a herd of hungry dinosaurs, thanks to your imaginative children. Toss elfie in the middle and tell the kids he got bored of doing laundry and wanted to get in on the fun.
Forget to go grocery shopping. Spend the evening scouring your cabinets for something edible to put in your kids lunchboxes. Decide upon graham crackers and cheese sticks. Set the elf on top and blame the whole problem on him. Hey, this elf thing is starting to be useful after all.
The elf goes missing. For real. Everyone in the house looks for him. When he’s found lying face down in the dog bed with his hat nearly chewed off, discreetly wipe him off on your yoga pants and make up a story about how he was heroically saving Rapunzel from her own hair and got damaged in the crossfire.
Day 8 and 9
Forget you even have an elf. Who can blame you? You’re still recovering from yesterday’s elf issues. Inform the kids that elves sometimes need mental health days, just like mommies.
Find your daughter’s incomplete homework on the couch. Finish it for her by writing “Ho, ho, ho” in all the blank spaces. Blame it on the elf.
Wake up feeling too lazy to cook breakfast. Grab a dozen donuts from the corner shop. Lay them out on the kitchen table and say it was the elf’s idea.
Discover the elf covered in chocolate. Try wiping him off on your dirty yoga pants and decide he probably needs a bath. Consider checking online whether bathing will ruin him, but get distracted by an episode of Real Housewives. Wake up the next day on the couch still clutching the sticky elf.
Day 13, 14 and 15
Feel too tired to deal with the elf. Drop him in the middle of the living room and let the kids make up their own story.
Stick your elf in the freezer. If your kids ever find him again, tell them he missed the North Pole and he really loves fish sticks. The end.